Different day different sucker
Two days ago: Fellow calls because he had purchased a few acres and a single-wide trailer next to a creek. He now owns this little piece of Heaven. He told me the sellers had told him the land was in the flood plain but the house was not, then gave him a copy of an elevation certificate I had performed maybe three years ago when the sellers had purchased the property. He was calling because his insurance agent was telling him he needed some very expensive flood insurance. Asked him for the address. When he told me, I thought to myself, “What a moron?” As I recall, the flood plain BFE was about two feet above the floor of the house.
Yesterday: Fellow calls because he would like to build a fence along one side of his property. Thick accent suggesting India or somewhere in that corner of the world. That, by itself, strongly suggests he is either an employee of a local hotel or a doctor at the hospital. There is no in between in that town. Based on the neighborhood, I’m thinking hotel. He gives me the street address so I can pull up the online appraiser’s data. Immediately recognize the block as I completed a survey for a different tract there about two years ago. At that time, I had received a call from the occupant of the very property he has purchased to find out what a survey might cost to build a fence along the same side as yesterday’s caller. My number was too high both times. Cheap house should equal cheap survey. WRONG. The neighbor on the west should have his face in the dictionary next to the term A$$#OLE. I had chatted with several at the city office two years ago. Learned about the incredibly long list of times that various city departments had experienced problems with this jerk. Building a fence would only provoke him to find additional ways to aggravate neighbors. At the time, I assumed a part of the jerk’s issue was racism towards his Black neighbors. Apparently, the new owner doesn’t fit this jerk’s idea of an acceptable neighbor, either.
Today: Broker calls because he has found two buyers for a large tract with one buyer taking so many acres and the house (in the flood plain) and the other taking most of the total tract. I’m betting the house is clearly in the flood plain, which may eliminate that buyer. That may blow up the sale or the remainder leading to no closing. This will be a “all dollars up front” kind of project unless they find some other surveyor to agree to do it without that guaranteed payment or who is willing to lie and say they can get it done in the next two weeks. I have no interest in being the SUCKER on this deal.
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